i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
