but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize