a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
