2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
