The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
