when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
