Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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