i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize