# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
