Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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