Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sarcasm needs its own font
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
