I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize