I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
