Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
