PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
