i think my tv is drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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