Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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