You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
