what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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