he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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