Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And then my night got REAL pukey
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize