I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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