I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
