i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is wine microwaveable?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
