i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
