He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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