no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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