So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
