WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
