I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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