ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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