we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize