Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
