I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
