My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
