R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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