we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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