I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She needs sedatives and a leash
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
