I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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