he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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