he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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