How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
