i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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