it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
