he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
