glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
