May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
