If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
