How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
