She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm passing your future prison.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
