You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
