the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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