paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize