I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
