dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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