There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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