woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
