And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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