So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
