I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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