I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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