East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
