I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wear drunk well.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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